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See, the Bible forbids many of the things people love to do and this means God himself doesnot want us as human beings to get involved in such activities, no matter what![2]
Since this topic is a little too sensitive though, [10]we won’t say much more but will instead list chapters and lines from the books of the Bible that forbid some of the most normal and awesome things one could ever imagine, but nevertheless, the decision is yours.[1]
These are the things the bible forbids!
20). Consulting Psychics
Leviticus 19:31 says: “Regard not them that have familiar spirits, [8]neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.”
Translation: Truth be told, [6]the idiots who spend a fortune getting “advice” from such con artists deserve whatever they get.
19). Women wearing sexy clothes
1 Timothy 2:9 says: “I also want the women to dress modestly,[12] with decency and propriety.”
Translation: This one should make every insecure, jealous husband and boyfriend happy.
18). Masturbating
1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,[4] but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
Translation: Jim Levenstein from American Pie doesn’t seem to be so stupid all of a sudden, huh? Dude knew how to do his thing and at the same time avoid sin, too.[2]
17). Watching Porn
Matthew 5:28 says: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”[1]
Translation: Whoops! Does it count if you just watch porn for educational purposes?
16). Wearing bling
1 Timothy 2:9 says: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing,[8] modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”
Translation: We still can’t be sure about who killed 2Pac and Notorious BIG,[2] but we know for sure that these two legendary rappers (just like most rappers who respect themselves) wore enough gold chains during their short lives that unfortunately might have cost them eternally.[9]
15). Eating bacon ( or pork in general )
Leviticus 11:4 says: “Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud,[12] or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud,[8] but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.”
Translation: Just bacon? So we’re good if we stick to pork chops?
14). Tearing your clothes
Leviticus 10:6 says: “And Moses said unto Aaron, and unto Eleazar and unto Ithamar,[5] his sons, Uncover not your heads, neither rend your clothes;[7] lest ye die, and lest wrath come upon all the people: but let your brethren, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning which the LORD hath kindled.”
Translation: Billy Idol, Steven Tyler, Tommy Lee,[1] Ozzy Osborne, Slash, and so many other rock stars (and their fans) shouldn’t worry about all the sex and drugs they’ve had and done because their jeans and horrible T-shirts have done enough damage already.[9]
13). Getting tattooed
Leviticus 19:28 says: “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead,[7] nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”
Translation: The likes of Lil Wayne and so many others are still enjoying it.[9] The little dolphin you tattooed on your butt cheek at age seventeen during spring break while you were drunk has ultimately condemned you eternally.[2]
12). Getting remarried after getting divorced
Mark 10:11–12 says: “Whosoever putteth away his wife,[3] and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
Translation: I truly feel sorry for Pastor David Kiganda right now.[15]
11). Gossiping
Leviticus 19:16 says: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people:[2] neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor; I am the LORD.”
Translation: Say what you wanna say about your fat friend or bald-headed boss right to their face.
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