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Here are a few things about love that you learn in your twenties.
1). Who the “perfect guy” really is.
The “perfect guy”[1] is no longer the one with the best physique or the one who is the most charming or the one who pampers you the most. You have your own definition of “perfect” and more often than not it is way simpler than what it was in your teens.[4]
2). You CAN be second or even third time lucky.
You can be second and even third time lucky in love,[10] and that is OKAY. Your first love does not have to be the forever kind of love always. Sometimes, the first time we fall in love, we are really just in love with the idea of love and not the person.[8]
3). You change, and so do your expectations and priorities.
You undergo a major personality transition in your 20s and that may mean you no longer have the same feelings for the person you were in love with during your teens.[3] The realization may hurt but that is okay. It is better to be honest with yourself than to pretend to feel something you don’t.[9] In the long run this will do you both a world of good![2]
4). Love takes work but it should not feel like work.
Sustaining a relationship requires effort but that should not make you feel burdened or stuck in a hard place.[14] Love should not be making you challenge or question your goals and values.[3] Most of all, it should not wear you out and make you feel unhappy.[7]
5). The concept of “sacrifice” in love will change.
The concept of sacrifice in love will change for the better as you realize that your dreams and aspirations are no less important than anyone else’s.[1] Some compromises and adjustments are inevitable to keep your relationship afloat,[6] but that does not mean you should be giving up who you are.[3]
6). You are your first love.
Before loving someone else you must learn to love yourself just the way you are.[9] And until you do, you will not find true love or the satisfaction in it.[2] If you constantly feel undeserving of love or a particular person because you think you are not good enough, you will never be happy, no matter how good a person you have by your side.[7]
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