Newslex Point News in Uganda, Uganda news
10). Women Speaking in Church
1 Corinthians 14:34 says: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; [9]but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.”
Translation: A rare moment when even in the twenty-first century a man can tell a woman to shut the hell up and not be accused of being misogynistic and sexist.[1]
9). Being gay and Lesibian
Leviticus 18:22 says: “No man is to have sexual relationship with another man, [12]God hates that.”
Translation: You can be the most kind-hearted,[9] the most generous, the most helpful, the best Christian who won’t commit any of the other sins included in the Bible but your sexual preference makes you an illegal alien from heaven, that is.[8]
8). Pre-marital sex
There’s no point in listing one of the countless chapters and verses in the Bible that states premarital sex is a sin. [4]That’s a fundamental Christian belief so there you go.
7). Wearing polyester, or any other fabric blends
Leviticus 19:19 says: “You are to keep My statutes. [3]You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed,[10] nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”
Translation: Christiano Ronaldo is right when he demands his football jerseys be 100 percent cotton.[2] Maybe he knows something we don’t? One way or another,[7] millions of soccer players around the world are in serious trouble.
6). Hmmm, pulling out
Genesis 38:9 says: “And Onan knew that the seed should not be his;[9] and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground,[6] lest that he should give seed to his brother.”
Translation: I don’t know how to explain this exactly . . . Just use a condom!
5). Eating assorted seafood
Leviticus 10–11 says: “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas,[3] and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh,[3] but ye shall have their carcasses in abomination.”
Translation: The absolute revenge of the red lobster.
4). Wives helping out their husbands in a fight
Deuteronomy 25:11–12 says: “When men strive together one with another,[16] and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him,[9] and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets.”
Translation: Just sit back and enjoy.[3] If your man wins, then more power to you for marrying John Rambo. If he loses, just deal with the fact that you married a wimp.
3). Divorcing with your lying, cheating partner
1 Corinthians 7:10–11 says: “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord):[4] the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does,[5] she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
Translation: Don’t pay attention to your spouse if he’s cheating on you,[3] beats the crap out of you, doesn’t work, makes you feel less like a human,[1] and so on; especially if you’re a woman. Just suck it up and honor your marriage. Ahhh! Sometimes I can truly understand how feminists got so mad at men and society.[9]
2). Or trimming your beard
Leviticus 19:27 says: “neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.”[1] the bible is clear.
Translation: Just make sure you keep a clean-cut style. No goatee, beards, or mustaches allowed . . . ever.
1). Round haircuts
Leviticus 19:27 says: “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads . . .”
Translation: The Beatles and Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber are already burning in hell.[6]
Source: List25
Check also;
- S.A Prophet Drowns After Attempting To walk On Water
- Why So Many Muslim Refugees In Europe Suddenly Converting To Christianity
- Malawian Pastor, Shephered Bushiri Acquires The 3rd Private Jet In Two Years
Please use the button below to contribute to Newslex Point, Inc. using a credit card or via PayPal.
