Love is a theory many have not had a chance to prove right. And those who tend to fall out after running half the race. Often when couples are faced with a possibility of love in a relationship, partners tend to run away from that possibility.
Love is a singular entity with a multitude of micro compounds. An individual chooses to round off a couple of these compounds I would love to call characteristics and mistake them for love. Take caring for example; a person could care for you but never feel real actual love for you. Let’s just say cupids arrow missed his/her heart.
Below are only but a few reasons why relationships are not based on love any more.
1). Comfort over discomfort
No one wants to be in a painful relationship filled with jealousy and heartaches. The ideology of happily ever after is a lost cause in relationships today. Many people have given up on the concept of finding love in a relationship. 5 out of 10 couples have settled for less in the name of having a peaceful relationship. This starts with a mutual heartfelt agreement; the no strings attached theory. If you are looking for someone to blame, try the deteriorating society norms and behavioural etiquette. They want to connect, but just enough to leave room for doubt. Keeping partners at arm’s length. They want someone to hold hands with but still stay standing independently on their own, they convince themselves they are not toying with their partner’s emotions. They are just keeping them company and offering the little they can. Then the relationship gets branded; its complicated, its nothing serious. We are just keeping each other company.
2). Looking for help
Youngsters have developed a new relationship theory. The rebound theory. This has caught on like a wild prairie fire. This theory entails finding a test subject, this specimen works as a stress outlet. This theory stresses out two major points
- Prioritize coitus
- Never develop feelings for the specimen
Many people dating are not looking for a permanent relationship. They are looking for someone to ease their heart ache. A distraction from their raging sea of emotions. Originally this was done out of spite and hatred for the exes. Sleeping around and showing off that they don’t care anymore. A broken heart cannot suddenly mend. Patching up the scattered fragments of one’s bleeding heart is the hardest part of a break up. Thus partners bring their baggage into a relationship, unload it in form of tales and excuses. They want the partners to listen but not judge. To comfort them but not need more from them. They blindly give themselves but have both feet outside the door. Because this is just a visit train stop, the train is going to depart soon and they will have to leave Las Vegas. As the saying goes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
3). Lust for money
People lust for money with avidity. Man created money but money made man ran mad. We are all conversant with this saying. Sadly, this theory applies to 90% of the relationship. Money can buy relationship but it has failed to buy love. Wells society believes only women are a victim of the temptress. But I beg to differ, men as well have been ensnared in her web. Statistically speaking, the ratio of women to men who are trapped is 8:2. Women are more prone to lust after a materialistic lifestyle than men.
Whereas women are bedazzled by the celebrity life style, men on the other hand are just after comfortable lifestyles. But when life throws you in a ditch, you FIND all possible measures to dig yourself out. The vipers look out for the healthiest meat. The level of immorality is increasing rapidly and it’s this immorality that ignites the materialistic flame. The sugar daddies stay on a hunt. They continuously spend their reaches on hot-blooded young females just to rekindle that young youthful sex life. Woman who want to live an elevated like but don’t have enough money. So they make a trade.
4). Contracts/friends with benefits/ lust
Whether we blame western influence for this, the fact still remains; contract relationship is the new thing. This has spread like wild bush fire among the youths. Most often the girls fall into a trap. They bring love to the table and the boys bring sex and a hint of care. When it comes to relationships they want to commit a little, but this ain’t the same with their drugs. They do not want to put tags or labels on the relationship unless its liquor that is. They always have one foot out of the door just in case it gets to emotional.
The girls on the other hand stand firmly, risking everything one love. It’s not about keeping one eye open anymore. Hawk eyes scouting out for the next prey. The romance in such relationships is all fictitious. Artists are victims of these vices. They claim they have no time for settling so they choose to only quench their thirst.
Often mistaken for love. This might as well be one of the major causes of loveless relationships. The chaos of all forces of attraction clashing, you get lost in the moment. The relationship is perfect in the beginning, but then the infatuation dies off. For a while you had something to hold dear. Then starts the contemplating, hat will the outcome be. Warily staring gaping at the future, blinking away hits of the end to come.
That’s when the talk comes in. I know most of you can relate to this. I bet most of you dread the talk. Time to define the relationship, weighing the options. The men will want the free sex, the women the company. Maybe both. Then it all goes back to mutual agreement. Until one decides to seek for greener pasture. But before she masters the art of moving on, they are just so many broken promises, timid submissiveness, blind faith and many teary nights.
6). Curiosity and adventure
This this for all generations. The desire to discover new things. Curiosity killed the cat, and it continues to kill more. The boys who want to taste every fish in the sea. I believe these have skirts for trousers. A little piece of this and a little piece of that, some just love to boost about their ministries, tell tales to their hommies, appear like the kings that all the girls swoon for. There is no smoke without fire. It starts with a single bud flame; the men use these growing feelings to their advantage. Unrequited love is the epitome of loveless relationships. This adventure is fuelled by male chauvinism. The men think they are superior beings, they do not have to answer to women. Women are like property. Men even in their old age still want to live like alpha males. Women are only victims of their unruly egos.
Obsessive and Eros love are lost to the world. This generation and the old combined are characterised with what I would term barter love. Something for something love. Relationships based on contracts and mutual consent; the no strings attached theory. chivalry is but a myth now not everyone is looking for love. The Romeo you are looking for might be stuck in some novel or play. The question still, is; love truly lost to the world.
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